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Jacob's Jamboree

A sibling to a preemie can feel confused, jealous, attention starved or alone. Realize that in time, with the correct interactions, older siblings will begin to understand, but intervention is key. When the older sibling begins to show signs of jealousy or confusion, use these ideas to include them into the new life with a preemie.
 
 

Issue

Things to keep in mind... 

Try this...

Jealousy of the Baby

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Keep the older sibling involved with daily activities. It may take some creative re-thinking on daily duties, but involving the older sibling will make a big difference in their behavior!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Get a Baby Doll - My husband was a little skeptical about buying our son a doll, but it was a big help to me! When I was attending to Kaitrin, Jacob would do the same thing with his boy doll 'Charlie'. He felt as though he was helping and I was able to keep him occupied so that I could focus on Kaitrin.

 

I need a "Big Helper Favor" - Jacob always wants to help out, it's just his nature. But sometimes I need his attention when it is clearly elsewhere! This is when the "Big Helper Favor" comes into play. Here are some of the times I use this (and I try to use it sparingly):

  • Can you do me a Big Helper Favor?
    • Kaitrin is fusy and I need you to use your whisper voice until I get her asleep.
    • There's a few more minutes until dinner is ready, can you sing baby Kaitrin a few songs for me?
    • We have to get to school, can you help mommy find her keys?
    • I only have one hand to work with (holding the baby), can you grab the bottle and spit cloth for the baby?
    • We are almost home and Kaitrin is really hungry and fusy, can you show her a toy and make her smile.

Bath Time Helper - Jacob loves to help with Kaitrin's bath. I let him wash her toes and then he plays peek a boo to keep her happy.

 

Jealousy of Attention

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

What About Me Box - I began saving items in a box for Jacob (even before I knew Kaitrin was coming early) to have for when gifts would come for Kaitrin and I'd have to hear "What about me?" I saved small items like books, Go Fish cards, coloring books, etc. When he was showing signs of needing extra attention, we would go to the (new name) "Big Brother" box and get something that he and I could do together.

 

 

Confusion of 'Where's Baby?'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Posters/Signs  - We felt that Jacob was too young to allow him to visit Kaitrin in the NICU - wires, buttons, tubing, Oh My! So each week he would make a birthday poster for her that would hang over her isolette. When they came down each Friday, we put them into an album. Even today he is very proud of the posters that he made for his sister. I still remember him saying, "Kaitrin is gonna love this! It's beautiful"

 

Picture Album - We took pictures of Kaitrin, her monitors, and her isolette (her plastic house) to show Jacob. With stickers, markers, and scrapbook paper we helped him make a photo album that he to take to school, show neighbors/friends/family, and look through at night. He was in charge of showing people and telling them about his sister...such a sense of responsibility!

 

Big Brother/Sister Shirt - along with the photo album, Jacob had a Big Brother shirt (well two of them because he insisted on wearing them everyday). He could wear it as much as he wanted. People would stop and talk to him about being a big brother. He was very proud to have the title and loved the extra attention.